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Be SO Completely Yourself

August 26, 2019

August 26, 2019. Written by Courtney N. Shale

One of the most common things I hear and get messages about from my fellow tribe of creatives (and within my little community in general) is that they admire how much I embrace being myself with my faith, my values, my goals, my story etc. and how they wish they had the confidence to put themselves out there more.

When I ask them why they feel like they can’t make personal posts, go live, or talk in their stories; it’s almost always because of the fear of being accepted, approved and liked for the day-to-day and not just the pretty, on-brand, highlight moments.

I recently went live over on @lcn_events to chat during one of my #MorningMusingswithCourtneyNoelle about this topic and how I help people overcome this feeling and show up for who they are.

Before I dug into the content of my live, I shared the following quote:

“Be SO completely yourself that everyone else feels safe to be themselves too”.

I think this is extremely powerful because when I get all these messages, a lot of people are telling me how badly they want to build community on their social media platforms, but they feel like they can’t mix their “personal” with their “business” or post what they really want to post or how they truly feel…

Why?

“Well what if someone doesn’t like it and I lose followers?”

“Well my feed won’t look eye-catching and cohesive”

The common hesitation amongst creatives is the fear of judgement and not being accepted for who they really are.

To me, that bums me out y’all! Truly! But, at the same time, I’ve been there. Quick detour.

For me, it all started when I was at a point where I was lost, burnt-out and didn’t know what I wanted for my business. I was so desperate to try and figure it all out on my own and when I felt like I had failed, I ended up making a decision to invest in myself and my business by hiring a business coach.

As my business coach, Kim, would always state “everyone could use a coach- no matter who they are, where they are at in business, how much money they make, what their goals are… everyone could use a coach”.

During my 6 months of coaching, I made a total transformation mentally, emotionally, physically (yes, you read that right) AND spiritually. I came out on the other side feeling like a totally new woman who believed in herself and knew she could do anything she set her mind to. But, it took a lot of hustle, sweat and tears to make the transformation come to fruition.

I will make a different post later about my personal story with Kim and the many seen and unseen benefits of working with a coach, but the point here is that it all truly begins and ends with YOU- your mindset, your confidence, your faith, your fears, your doubts… all of the things that control how you act, or don’t act.

This breakthrough happened once I got clear with my goals, what message I want to put out there and finding my voice- my authentic voice- and not being afraid of saying what I want to say and not just doing what everyone else was doing.

Me posting about all the things came from shifting the way I looked at community, at social media and at myself.

It wasn’t until recently when I was finally like “Ok, this is who Courtney is, this is who I want to be, this is who I want people to see me for” and realizing that the people I want to attract (the whole “your vibe attracts your tribe”)- those people are going to find you when you are being your real self.

Personally, I think this is something that isn’t talked about enough because there are SO many times (and I’ve been guilty of this) where people feel like they have to look a certain way, they have to dress a certain way, they have to say certain things, their feed has to look a certain way or style…

And I’m here to tell y’all its ALL B.S.

There is no rule, no anything, that says you need to do things a certain way to make more money in your business, or you have to do things a certain way to connect with more people, or do things a certain way so that more people will find you.

No one is telling you that you have to do all the things because, truth is, what works for someone else won’t necessarily work for you. AND THAT IS OK! Because, incase you forgot, YOU ARE NOT THEM.

You are YOU and that is YOUR superpower.

For me, when I was trying to really dive into my business, I was SO afraid of posting certain things- I lost sight of my superpower and why people say they follow me and enjoy being a part of my community.

If you have followed me for any amount of time, you may know that I am a big words person- I freaking LOVE quotes and using them to encourage, motivate and inspire other people.

I wish I was kidding here, but I was so afraid of posting quotes in my feed instead of photos for the fear of people not liking it (Yep. Something I recently said *screw this* to).

I was afraid of posting “BTS” and going LIVE because of the fear that my content wouldn’t resonate with people.

It’s such a silly thing that we all get caught up with- caring too much about what other people think- but I want to tell you this and shout it LOUD and CLEAR:

Followers will come and go.

Likes per photo will vary.

Get comfortable with people coming and going because the people who stay are YOUR people and your community is being built stronger and stronger as you get comfortable with who YOU are and the value your provide to others.

THAT IS WHAT TRULY MATTERS.

But, trust me, I know how hard it is for us as creatives because we want to be seen, heard and liked by the masses and when even *one* person or opinion says otherwise, we forget about all the good and latch on to the bad because we are focusing on the connection on a superficial level.

I saw something on Facebook the other day that said “I no longer sit at tables where I will be the topic of conversation when I get up”. I think the same things stands here.

YOU have control of who you follow, who you reach out to and who you let encourage, motivate and inspire you (or discourage, knock you down and make you feel unworthy and not enough) both on and off social media.

For me, when I choose to post what I think people need to hear; by being my real self and showing up regardless of how I look and feel, I am able to connect with SO many more people than when I hide what I am truly thinking.

My little community has skyrocketed and I can hardly keep up with my DMs most days and I don’t have thousands upon thousands of followers. Instead, the ones I do have are here for all the things because I am connecting with them on a interpersonal level.

It’s those genuine moments that truly allow people to connect with us; to feel like they know us so that when they meet us in real life, they feel like they already know us.

The whole point of me explaining all of this is that when we can be our real selves, embrace it, and be who God made us to be, we WILL find our people that way.

We will make people feel welcomed.

We will make people feel comfortable, loved.

And all of a sudden, something that feels so impossible, so intimidating; is going to feel more natural.

It really does get to be THAT easy and THAT rewarding.

How different would things be if we could all show our true colors and be who we are, like who/what we like and accept each other for it?

I don’t know about you, but I feel SO much freedom in doing my thing and knowing I’ll find “my” people that way.

So friends, BE YOURSELF.

Someone out there is looking for you- make their search a little easier.

“Be SO completely yourself that everyone else feels safe to be themselves too”.

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