Written by Courtney N. Shale // 12.9.19
It’s time to get out of your head and into your life!
After months and months of being busy and high on life during my first full-blown wedding season since starting LCN Events, last week I finally crashed and fell victim to a series of anxiety attacks.
Despite my best efforts to find God’s hand in those moments, it took days to pull me out of it. I isolated myself, added additional pressure trying to fix things that weren’t broken and ultimately made problems out of nothing.
Have you ever been there?
If so, imma tell you right now to pause and listen to last week’s episode on getting your heart ready for the new year before digging into getting your mind ready for the new year. It was one of THE most challenging episodes to record and chat through because I wasn’t in the right headspace myself, but my goodness, what a story that was! If you missed it, be sure to check it out here.
This week, I’ll be diving into more on the power of your mind and how to embrace changes and opportunities from a belief and manifesting standpoint versus a fear standpoint and I can’t wait to dive in!
We are going to chat through mindset and attitude, the fastest way to receive your heart’s desires, why faking it till you make it isn’t the best advice out there and the power of speaking your dreams into existence.
Like any of my content, I always want to provide you with the raw and real and spread some encouragement, motivation and inspiration stories from my life that will help get your on track to living the very best of yours.
One of the most important topics to do so is mindset.
Let’s dig in!
Your life is only as good as your mindset – why having a positive attitude leads to positive results
Earlier this year I was in SUCH a funk. I could hardly keep myself motivated to get out of bed let alone do anything productive for my business. All I wanted to do was sleep and let’s just say it wasn’t pretty… Eventually, things started to change and I was taking steps to become healthier physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually- all which led me to write this today.
I say that your life is only as good as your mindset not to make you feel pressured, but to make you feel inspired. You see, when we take inspired action toward our hopes, goals and dreams, things start to happen. Magic starts flowing. Opportunities come pouring in. Why? Because like attracts like.
When we dig deep and push through to shift our mindset from “meh” to “yes” (if only yeh was a word, right?! ha!), we are giving ourselves permission to think positively and in turn, those are the results we will yield.
The mind is a powerful tool, so I encourage you to use it for good. For YOUR good. And the good of those around you.
The healthier I become, the stronger my mindset becomes and thus more awesome things start to happen.
It really can be that simple, but the process of shifting your mindset isn’t always that easy.
When you’re feeling hopeless, lost, confused, anxious, depressed… turn your mind to what could happen if you start making that shift out of the darkness and into the light. Think about what could happen if you seek what you need in that moment; whether you need time for yourself- time to rest, time for peace- time with a loved one or simply the ability to give yourself grace… remember that you are not alone.
For me, the shift came when I turned to scripture and remembering God’s promises for me. The shift came when I remembered who He made me to be and who I am when I am at my best self, and I fought hard to get back to her again. It can be the same for you!
One of best practices for shifting your mindset, in my experience, come from practicing affirmation statements.
I have several sets of affirmations depending on what the “topic” is that I am looking to shift my mindset on. Whether you want to become more confident, achieve a goal, make more money- there are affirmations you can put together and begin to believe in what could happen when you practice them every day!
This is the perfect transition into the next part of mindset work- believing it before you see it!
The fastest way to receive your heart’s desires? Believe it BEFORE you see it
This is probably one of the hardest practices of mindset shifting, especially when you are feeling down and unsure. However, when you consciously work on believing that good things are coming- that you will gain confidence, turn your long-term goals into short-term goals or make more than enough money- you are starting to program your brain to be more optimistic in everything you do!
There was a time where I couldn’t stop thinking about having a flourishing business- that is all I wanted and I wanted it to happen with the snap of my fingers, but obviously that wasn’t going to happen. It would take hard work, lots of hard work, and a few years to figure things out. But, if you have followed along for any point of time, you probably know I am not the most patient person out there… haha.
I kept getting discouraged and thinking, “I don’t know if I am cut out for this. How long is this going to take? It would be so much easier to work for someone else”.
And when I am feeling down and most vulnerable, those thoughts will creep back in an attempt to get me to quit. But I choose to be resilient! I choose to power through even when I am unsure of the direction I am going in.
I started to make the mindset shift of “This isn’t happening fast enough, I am seeing no results” to “Wow, if I am putting in this much work, I am willing to bet there is a future Courtney who is SO happy I didn’t give up and I kept going. I bet she is happy, financially stable and living out her dreams”.
Simply making statements like that is not only hella empowering, these statements tell our brain “Hey, I am doing good things! Look at me go! I am successful” and just like that, your mindset starts to believe things have happened before you see them happen for yourself.
What is one thing you are seeking, but aren’t sure what the time frame looks like?
I ask you to start believing its already yours. I ask you to challenge yourself to show up as your highest self, claim that victory, and let it fuel you on your journey today.
Because, friend, what you desire is already on its way to you. Don’t clutter your journey, make it beautiful!
This takes me to the next part: faking it till you make it is really not that great of advice…
Fake it till you make it? No. FAITH it till you make it
Now you’re probably thinking, “Well, isn’t this whole mindset shift faking things anyways since things haven’t happened yet? Why are you now saying that is terrible advice?”
I believe there is a VERY strong difference between faking something, and actually having faith in something.
When we try to fake something, we are still coming from a disbelief mindset- one that is limiting.
When we have faith in something, we are coming from a belief mindset- one that is abundant.
Do you see the difference?
For example, there was a point in my life that I refer to as my season of “self-unemployment” before I started my business.
I was 22, recently graduated, with NO post-grad job lined up and I felt that four years of hard work were just washed down the drain because I didn’t have that “next thing” waiting for me. I was disappointed to say the least.
During that time, many job offers came and went and I attempted to put myself in a box.
I went through a period of time where I thought I would become a financial advisor, a health and nutrition coach… two things I knew NOTHING about and to be frank, didn’t understand what hoops I would have to jump through to be qualified and certified to actually do that job.
I knew both of those things weren’t right for me. I knew I really didn’t want anything to do with them.
What I really wanted was to belong and have an identity since it was expected to join the job force after graduating.
Y’all, that’s disbelief. THAT is faking it till you make it.
And guess what? Neither of those things worked out, so I faked it until I DIDN’T make it.
Instead, I took some time to tap into myself, figure out who I am and what God put me on this earth to do and when I had that moment of clarity, I took inspired action and BELIEVED in what I was doing.
Looking back from where I am now, I can confidently say that believing and faithing it till you make it, is what yields positive results.
Now let’s wrap up on an extremely positive note!
The power of positivity + law of attraction – speak your dreams into existence
If you know me personally, you have likely been encouraged to speak your dreams into existence by fully accepting the power of positivity and the law of attraction. And I know a small handful of people who practice this have yielded some incredible results!!
Whenever someone tells me about their goals, hopes and dreams, I help shed some light on how to enhance their abundance mindset to see it through.
One of the most powerful things we can do when we practice mindset shifting is speaking our dreams into existence by stating them in present-tense; as if these goals, hopes and dreams have already happened. When we do this, we are claiming the success instead of allowing room for doubt!
The more you believe something will happen, the faster it will happen because you are focused on abundance instead of lack. You have gratitude for where you are and faith in where you are going. When you stand in faith, amazing things happen!
Here are a few of my goals, hopes and dreams that have come to pass from continuously stating them in present-tense over and over and over (again, some took longer than others):
- I am SO grateful we got the home we have been praying over!
- I am SO grateful we have a puppy and get to be dog parents!
- I am SO grateful I booked 10 weddings for the year!
- I am SO grateful I booked my first $10k client!
- I am SO grateful I won The Knot’s Best of Weddings 2020!
And if you want to take things to the next level, try stating your wildest dreams in a “how is it that?” form. This is where the real magic starts to happen because you absolutely know you cannot make these happen on your own!
Here are a few of my wildest dreams that I am continuously praying over:
- How is it that I am speaking at Wedding MBA in 2020?!
- How is it that I won Best of Toledo – Event Planner 2019?!
- How is it that I am a published author?!
See where I am going here?
BUT, these practices aren’t just for the big things. They work fabulously for the little things, too.
I remember driving back to Illinois a few months ago to visit family, knowing I had two options based on the day I planned to leave. Either leave when it would be convenient for me, knowing I will hit rush hour traffic OR leave way later and get to my mom’s when it would be pitch black outside.
If y’all don’t know me personally, you may not know that I absolutely hate driving at night. That’s a whole other story though haha! I bring it up to make it clear I was SO not down for leaving way later.
Long story short, as I set out on my 5-6 hour drive, I kept stating over and over “How is it that I will hit Chicago during rush hour, but not be slowed down?!” “How is it that I will hit Chicago during rush hour, but make it to my mom’s in the normal amount of time?”.
Do you want to take a wild guess at what happened?
Yep, I hit Chicago during rush hour and nope, I didn’t hit traffic. I DID make it to my mom’s in the normal amount of time when I should have been stopped for at least 45 minutes to an hour in the “parking lot of doom” as I call it!
Don’t believe me? Try it for yourself.
Believe in what is possible friend!